DONT TRY THIS AT HOME

I saw this bowler hat horror worn out last night as if it was a GOOD THING.
People, lets look out for each other! DO NOT allow your friends or loved ones to leave the house dressed like a cliche. A bowler hat with a bleached blond Madonna cut? YARG! Pair that with a short floral print dress and a blazer? FUCK OFF! That is not an outfit, its an eighties costume! If you get beat up you fucking deserve it. For Realz.
All I am going to say to the offender(s) here is, you know who you are and shame! Shame on you for allowing yourself to look like a ridiculous throwback which was never good even in the era where it was supposedly relevant. How do I come to be such an authority on matters like this, you ask? I WAS THERE FOR THE REAL THING. It was douchebaggery then and its douchebaggery now. I dont care if you are a supermodel (see below). Its bad in every way. Its also unimaginative and lazy (ie ITS BEEN DONE).
Here is an important concept: as much as you would like, you are not a celebrity. You are going to have to come to terms with that. The following is THE most important lesson that this generation needs to learn- YOU ARE NOT FAMOUS.
So, When your gay hairdresser tells you, "its cuuuuute!" Its time to turn and run screaming in the opposite direction. (No offense gays, you're great but, your Madonna fetish is out of control. Lets not even SPEAK about Cher)


OH and newsflash, Madonna sux. Get over it.

Police sketches are good/bad/funny/creepy

ok. I was just looking at the newspaper today and there were police sketches of two suspected criminals wanted in connection with a viscious beating or something blah blah blah.
Anyhoo, I got to thinking how does one become a police sketch artist? Where does one get the training to become a professional police sketch artist? How long is the training? How much do they get paid? What the hell do these sketch artists themselves, look like? I mean, their drawings are weird. Some better than others but, for the most part really weird highschool type portraits. Maybe the cops just call up the local HS and pick an art student at random fo this kind of work? As you can see from the examples below, it seems like a reasonable theory...

Here is a good place to start. Its Son of Sam serial killer, David Berkowitz. The illustration is the spitting image dont you think? No wonder it took forever to catch this guy. The drawing looks like the older veitnamese guy who runs the take out joint down the street that I ilke.


Looks like a good group, hey? Thai bombers. The middle guy is definately the mastermind. The other two are dead inside.



I dont know about you but, I am hearing the banjo song from Deliverance right now....



Apparently, this alien throws rocks at gay people. Asshole.



Pretty righteous. He's a happy guy. Do anything for you.
Dude has a great attitude for a bro with Vitiligo.



See what I mean about the High School artist thing? I mean, I think this is a portrait done by a kid in grade 10 of his buddy. They're all about hip hop and they steal joints from their older brother's stash. Their drawings are better than the other kids in the class because they're always baked.



I like this one because the artist gives you ideas about versatility of the hairstyle and how to wear a hat or not. Showing the side view really opens up a world of possibilities.



The only thing I can really say about this one is: British. As in, from England. No one else has ears quite like that. Nice tho hey?



This guy is wanted for stealing smokes. He's got a real legit Burt Reynolds vibe going on. (circa Cannon Ball Run or Smokey and the Bandit, no pun intended)



Hmmmm....what is he looking at over there? Is that a stocking cap and a scarf he's got on?



This one is really quite well done. Painterly even, in a cool, Sesame Street character kind of way.



This person was described as "asian". Oookayyye.



This suspect had, and i quote, "a big boned appearance, very pretty brown eyes."
WHAT? Pretty eyes? Dude is wanted for abduction!