Now, I know we've all heard about these folks, who are, as they say " a few cards short of a full deck" tampering with random grocery items at our local supermarkets. Generally these items tend to be food related. Well, not today, my friends, Nuh uh!
So, OK. Today I bought a jumbo sized jar of Evening Primrose oil so I can continue to keep my hormones in check (you can all thank me later) and discovered a wee bit of weirdness.
I always buy the same brand of product but today the jar felt REALLY heavy. Abnormally heavy. It did seem a bit strange at the time but, lets remember I'm in a crowded superstore and there are 11 languages being spoken all around me at varying outside voice levels and then add to that screaming children and arguing couples everywhere jostling me around like a fucking air hockey disc. So I take my GIGANTIC weight of gel caps and throw em into my basket where they land with a thud. I get the hell out of Babel asap.
Later on at my appropriate supplement regimen time, I ferret out my new bottle of hormone therapy and proceed to unscrew the top. Thats when I realise that something isnt right. The seal is not there, its been ripped off.
Hmmmmm.
So, I peer down inside the bottle. Guess whats in there?
Well, I think you've already guessed it isnt the pleasing multitude of lozenge shaped, golden sanity savers. Its a bunch of batteries. USED batteries. 26 AA, one AAA and three 9volt batteries, to be exact. Its not what i was expecting. Nope. Not at all.
So what Im wondering now is this -what the hell are they doing there? For what reason would someone fill an empty bottle of evening primrose oil with used batteries and then replace them on the shelf at a supermarket? Do they have some master plan that includes pissing off hormonally unbalanced women that i dont know about? Do they stand in the asile all nonchalant for hours at a time WAITING for some unassuming sucker like me to come along and snag their practical joke? Do they then almost pee their pants?
Or are they trying to tell me something? Bring me into some elaborate consumer educational group? Is it some kind of social commentary/ gorilla superstore signal? Are they just plain fucking wacko? I assume its a guy who has done this (which may make me seem like an asshole but I've not had my proper dosage now so fuck off) and Id like to meet him so I can twist his nuts untill they are ready to fall off. What the hell is going on in a brain like that? Seriously. Maybe im not getting the funny here. Maybe its the hormones, in which case, this whole plan has derailed and needs a revamp. What a douchebag. Crazy or no, Im getting tired of dealing with it.
Just sayin'
