Alright, you assholes. Let get this sorted out now, once and for all.
The meaning of global warming should not, NOT, be taken literally to the nth degree. If you dont know anything about something, before you go blahblahblahing your ignorant BS all over the place, take a minute to learn about what the hell you are talking about. Its common sense, unless, you actually want to sound like a total moron. If thats your bag, then have at it and also fuck off - I'm not interested.
So, lets have a lesson here, shall we? Alright then.
There are lots of complicated graphs and shit based on oodles of research regarding the earth's atomospheric temperature and what all that means overtime etc, etc. Dont fucking freak out, I'm not going to subject you to any of the complicated, intricate manifestations on the subject, so calm down.
Here is what you need to know:
Global warming is defined as an increase in the average temperature of the earth's atmosphere (especially a sustained increase that causes climatic changes). If you want to dispute or argue this definition, you can have a word with the folks at Princeton, who I'm pretty sure are smarter than you.
Now then. We know that its called "global warming" but that means its an OVERALL increase you fucktards, an average does not mean that we are now going to be subjected to boiling hot summer temperatures and balmy winters, instantaneously. Quit expecting that to happen. It makes you sound/look ignorant. The world is a huge fucking place if you hadnt already noticed. OK, OK - I'll give you credit for thinking that maybe global warming is not a particularly succinct phrase for what we are experiencing but, jeesus, do we have to spell it out for you? Do we have to go and call it Average Global Temperature Increase Mostly Up There or Global Weird Weather for you to get fucking educated on the topic? If I hear one more fucking redneck say something like "Global warming, yah right! Its June and there is frost on the ground, whats up with that?" I am going to become critical mass here and destroy you stupid bastards. OK, I am breathing in and I am going to explain this ONE TIME , so listen up.
An average atmospheric temerature increase fucks shit up all over the place, especially if it extends over a long period of time. It causes changes in the ocean (DUH), which causes changes in currents and weather patterns. It contributes to melting of polar icecaps etc. It is not meant to be taken literally, like, oh, Global Warming means good news for Winnipeg - it'll be warmer here and shorter winters STARTING RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Ok geniuses, I ask you - is that what we're experiencing? No. Its screwing with everything overall, over sustained periods of time. So before you go burning us all in hell with your awesome temperature increases in summer and short, pleasant winters, READ A BOOK about it or use your fucking computer to find out more. Don't tell me you cant cause you're reading my rant here so I know you have a basic knowledge of the innerweb. USE IT FOOLS.
If you cant say anything correct, dont say anything at all. Or go ask your Mum.
Over and out, gaylords.
PS FYI: These are funny. Whe you say shit like this, its not.
- Media mogul Ted Turner said that global warming would turn us into cannibals.
- Scotland’s Daily Mirror has reported that the Lock Nest Monster (Nessie) may be dead because of global warming.
- The Associated Press has reported that global warming will cause an increase in the price of beer.
- According to USAToday.com, giant pythons – big enough to eat alligators and people in a single mouthful – will be living in one-third of continental U.S. as a result of global warming.
- The Globe and Mail reported that there will be an increase in people with kidney stones over the next 30 years because of global warming.
- The Guardian reported that whales are significantly skinnier because of global warming.
- The Guardian reported that an increase in fatal shark attacks was the result of global warming.
- CNSNews.com reported that the 1993 crash of a U.S. military helicopter in Mogadishu (”Black Hawk Down”) should be blamed on global warming.
- National Geographic reported that baby penguins froze to death in July because of global warming.
- The Daily Mail reported that killer stingrays will invade the beaches of England because of global warming.
