Thursday, November 11, 2010

WTF? AA Douchebag

Now, I know we've all heard about these folks, who are, as they say " a few cards short of a full deck" tampering with random grocery items at our local supermarkets. Generally these items tend to be food related. Well, not today, my friends, Nuh uh!

So, OK. Today I bought a jumbo sized jar of Evening Primrose oil so I can continue to keep my hormones in check (you can all thank me later) and discovered a wee bit of weirdness.
I always buy the same brand of product but today the jar felt REALLY heavy. Abnormally heavy. It did seem a bit strange at the time but, lets remember I'm in a crowded superstore and there are 11 languages being spoken all around me at varying outside voice levels and then add to that screaming children and arguing couples everywhere jostling me around like a fucking air hockey disc. So I take my GIGANTIC weight of gel caps and throw em into my basket where they land with a thud. I get the hell out of Babel asap.
Later on at my appropriate supplement regimen time, I ferret out my new bottle of hormone therapy and proceed to unscrew the top. Thats when I realise that something isnt right. The seal is not there, its been ripped off.
So, I peer down inside the bottle. Guess whats in there?
Well, I think you've already guessed it isnt the pleasing multitude of lozenge shaped, golden sanity savers. Its a bunch of batteries. USED batteries. 26 AA, one AAA and three 9volt batteries, to be exact. Its not what i was expecting. Nope. Not at all.
So what Im wondering now is this -what the hell are they doing there? For what reason would someone fill an empty bottle of evening primrose oil with used batteries and then replace them on the shelf at a supermarket? Do they have some master plan that includes pissing off hormonally unbalanced women that i dont know about? Do they stand in the asile all nonchalant for hours at a time WAITING for some unassuming sucker like me to come along and snag their practical joke? Do they then almost pee their pants?
Or are they trying to tell me something? Bring me into some elaborate consumer educational group? Is it some kind of social commentary/ gorilla superstore signal? Are they just plain fucking wacko? I assume its a guy who has done this (which may make me seem like an asshole but I've not had my proper dosage now so fuck off) and Id like to meet him so I can twist his nuts untill they are ready to fall off. What the hell is going on in a brain like that? Seriously. Maybe im not getting the funny here. Maybe its the hormones, in which case, this whole plan has derailed and needs a revamp. What a douchebag. Crazy or no, Im getting tired of dealing with it.
Just sayin'

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dont kill me I have so much to give....

My new heros. I was worried there were no such things anymore. But Lo and Behold, I have been led out of the darkness and into the light (thanks Sugarbeard!)
For honest and true, I think these sirs are genius and I am seriously considering getting a tattoo (just kidding but not really)
and i think I'm in love with Howard Moon, jazz maverick.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Baker's Dozen

Listen up, this is the shit:

1. Adam Arcuragi - She comes to me
2. Timber Timbre - Demon Host
3. Band of Skulls -Death by Diamonds and Pearls
4. The Cave Singers - Beach House
5. Maps - I Dream of Crystal
6. Langhorne Slim - I love you but, Goodbye
7. The Antlers - Bear
8. Patrick Watson - Big Bird in a Small Cage
9. Your Twenties - Billionaires
10. Neon Indian - Deadbeat Summer
11. Kings of Leon vs Lykke Li - Knocked up
12. Atlas Sound - Walkabout
13. The Ravonettes - Breaking Into Cars

I'm right , no? Of course I am.
I wish I was the moon tonight (thanks Neko)

MUSIC RULEZ. Seriously, what would I do without it? I'D DIE

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Get into it peeps, its from 1969.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Topic of the week - OXFORD INVASION

I know that spring/summer is now over but I cant stop loving these gorgeous gems for my tootsies. I get all crazy about them and start doing baby talk when they are near (well, not really but almost)
When I was a new waver back in the 80's (the ACTUAL 80's NOT the disappointing "retro" 80's phenom), I had a much coveted pair of black suede, delicate, paisley embossed oxfords that I almost never took off. Even for sex and I am so serious. I wore those things OUT.

Now that they are around again, I am so IN LOVE. I recently scored a vintage blue pair that are the abundant envy of hipsters everywhere. They are like children to me, these lovelies - below are some photos of my dream children. In my fantasy life, we live in Europe and walk about bathed in flattering light amongst great art and architecture, accompanied by masculine well dressed accented messy haired hunks who adore us completely and forever. Le double sigh.

Oh and PS: This shit below is a bit much, yes? I am absolutely positive biatch never takes a skateboard anywhere, ever, and her buddy Mad Max cant turn her head to check traffic with those shoulder pads. Where do they think they are, Cirque du Soleil? Where's the midget sidekick ladies? (oh pardon me, I mean to say "little person", no offense intended)