Friday, August 14, 2009

Pointing out the pointless


Good afternoon all. I dont know if any of you pay attention to the frivolous crap that is the Fashion Magazine Industry but thats what this Rant is about.

Wait, wait, WAIT goddamn it! Before you go dismissing this post as part of the ever ridiculous tirade/ feminist critique of these rags - bare with me. This is NOT one of those.
Dont get me wrong - I think these things are trash. I dont really see any separation between them and the hardcore tabloids with headlines like "Baby Born Pregnant!" and "Face of the Anitchrist appears in Cloud!" (those are funny actually).
Its all pretty much extension of the same thing just at opposite ends of a spectrum.

So, is anyone abreast of the latest pointless, controversy in photoshopped cover images?
Well, FYI, Kelly Clarkson (who no one REALLY cares about anyway) was recently on the cover of SELF magazine (what a stupid name for a magazine).
As per usual, the image on the cover was severely doctored. She looks nothing like that in real life (see photo above).
All kinds of feminist blogs and websites are FREAKING OUT over it. The "editor" for SELF was on some talk show the other day and apparently offered an "offensive" defence strategy for the chop job which they indirectly admit to.
Predictably, the critics go APESHIT when they hear SELF describe these alterations:
"love a person, love her body, and retouch a picture." and "you want to capture the essence of you at your best."

What the FUCK does this even mean anyway? It makes no sense. These comments are supposedly coming from EDITORS! Last time I checked, you had to have some kind of brain to be called an editor of any publication.

My next question is, why are we even surprised? This shit happens so frequently how can we ever be outraged anymore, EVER? What the fuck can we actually expect from these people? My answer = NOTHING!
Seriously, we already know that this shit has been happening since probably before we were born (almost). The fact that anyone pays any attention to this crap and lends creedence to it at all is just wasting fucking valuable energy. This game takes TWO SIDES TO PLAY. Will you refuse to play at all? I WILL.

Lastly, WHO CARES? I dont wanna look like Kelly Clarkson no matter what state she's in. It is absolutley irrelevant to my entire life. Contrary to most popular media culture, I dont want to be any of these people. They are parodies of meaningful life. Its truely pathetic.

Arguing any point on how "offensive" this issue is just makes a mountain out of a molehill. DONT YOU SEE YOU ARE GIVING IT MORE ATTENTION THAN IT DESERVES AND FEEDING THE HYSTERICAL MEDIA MACHINE? It makes you look desperate and defensive! If you feed this monster power, what good do you think comes from it? DUH! It gets MORE powerful! It seems more important than it really is!
Its like the word "cunt" for example. Many people are afraid and/or offended by this word. It has connotations! Its negative! Really? ITS A WORD. I can use it however I choose. I can say it over and over and when you're over it, its not such a big deal anymore. The point is we can CHOOSE to make something a big deal or not. We can get over it and just look away from things that are inherently meaningless. We can CHOOSE our level of participation. We need to all stop being Drama Queens right fucking now. Its embarassing. Oh and p.s.- NONE of this BS MATTERS!
I simply CHOOSE to not have it bother me because it is only ONE IMAGE and its not even REAL. How can I be offended by something that doesnt exist? Because some mag hag "editor" and the subsequent "feminist" critics are all up in arms? Because THEY tell me I SHOULD be offended? Thats stupid, right? RIGHT.

If people hate themselves enough that they will judge their own worth based on a 2 dimensional image made up by some douchebag strangers that they've never met to make a gazillion dolllars, then I am afraid they deserve it. Am I the only one who thinks that there is no reason that today, with all the options and information readily available to pretty much everyone, we can excuse this behaviour? WE ALL NEED TO GET OVER OURSELVES.

Now, how about we focus on some REAL issues and atrocities like female castration, fanatics throwing acid on young girls and crazy women cutting babies out of each others abdomens.
Shifting the focus to bullshit details like who photohshopped what on who and, was that REALLY a fat suit Tyra Banks had on? is just a distraction from reality. It doesnt benefit anyone. Honestly, I think we are better than that.
Personally, I think I'll save losing my shit over something we really need to worry about about rather than expending it on whether Kelly Clarkson and her underarm "wing meat" are offensive or not.

Just Sayin'
xoxo