Shit List

The following people can blow me:

1) Community college students who need to carry all their shit with them in retarded huge backs everywhere, including on public transit. If one more of these mouth breathing morons bashes me in the head with one of these, there is going to be a bloodbath. Would someone please show these brainiacs where they can get a goddamn locker for their useless shit?

2) The coffee line is long, people. If you cant make up your mind about what you want after standing in line for 20 minutes, I reserve the right to fucking off you on the spot.

3) Annoying morning people who tell me to "smile!" This is how my face is motherfucker. This isn't McDonald's. Deal.

4) Girls who carry around those tiny, faux designer handbags. You are not fooling anyone sweetheart. We know you bought that shit at Walmart. You are officially the "Miss December" of low track scuzbags. Put on some plastic Chanel earrings while you're at it and you are technically America's newest darling of future Girls Gone Wild blow job queens.